i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
