Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
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