i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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