It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
MIDGETS
????
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
