That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
