I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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