my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm just crazy horny about you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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