I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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