I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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