i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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