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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize