the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
