thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
