Where is the hickey?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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