He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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