toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
