I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
