Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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