It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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