I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize