look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
