i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
