This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
