I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
