oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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