So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
