Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
