oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
