did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
