it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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