At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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