wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
