he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
