okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
