If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize