you traded sex for a burrito?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
