reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I love you.
Bad choice
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
