Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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