He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
