Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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