morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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