just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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