like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
