No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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