if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
