Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
