There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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