I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
