Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think I am morally bankrupt
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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