My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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