I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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