it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
