I must be too annoying 4 u.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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