why didn't you poke me back
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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