dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
