omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize