i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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